Time and Me

I sometimes wonder if my relationship with time is different from everyone else's. I mean, basically I got up at 8:00 this morning, since I didn't have anywhere to go, and I didn't get anything done all day. I mucked around for a couple hours on the computer, saying to myself that I was just going to do a few things before breakfast. But breakfast didn't come until noon. Then, I thought I'd do a few things between then and dinner, so I did a little reading, more messing around on the computer, and before I knew it it was 3:00 PM, and I was getting sleepy. So I laid down in bed, then got up again, read a little bit, listened to some podcasts, and slept until 8:00 PM. Then, I decided that I should call my mom, so I did, talked to my mom and my brother for a little less than an hour, then did some more messing around on the computer, and now it's 11:00 PM, and I haven't accomplished anything all day today. I had planned on doing the dishes and cleaning out the cat's litter box, but now I think I'll leave those things till tomorrow, since I only have a couple of hours before I have to be at work again. All of this on my day off. I didn't even really catch up on my sleep, though I do feel well enough rested. And I never got those lentils cooking, so I'll have to leave them for another day once again, and I'll have to buy something for lunch tonight.

I guess part of the reason why I feel like I have no time at all for anything is that the computer just eats up my time. If it's not World of Warcraft, it's YouTube; if it's not YouTube, it's reading blogs; if it's not reading blogs, it's listening to podcasts; if it's not listening to podcasts, it's watching television programming like Corner Gas, the Daily Show, Stargate, and miscellaneous programs.

But on another level, I think maybe I just live more slowly than other people. Getting up in the morning, I might say I want to have breakfast right away, but it takes me at least two hours to get going to the point where I get out the milk and cereal and actually eat. After breakfast, I say to myself, I'm going to get some work done, but once again, it takes me several hours to get to the point where I get out my work materials and start working. By then, I'm either sleepy or only have a couple of hours before I have to go to work, so essentially no work gets done.

Either I operate on a different schedule than everyone else, or I'm just incredibly bad at time management, but I just feel like the day goes by way too quickly. It basically just leaves me behind. When I try to savour moments, they turn from moments into hours. A moment seems not even worth savouring sometimes, because it's gone as soon as it comes.