The Anarchofarian Bible

The Anarchofarian Bible
written by the illustrious Grand Master Doctor Chief Joshua Israel Revelations Treleaven

Thou shalt not knowingly consent to anything stupid. When thou learnest that a practice is stupid, thou shalt cease to practice it. The exception is the Anarchofarian Religion. The Anarchofarian Religion fully recognizes that it is stupid, and yet encourages all of humanity to continue within it, and to follow its precepts, despite how stupid they sometimes sound.

If any nation shall deem to make laws that exclude certain individuals based on religious grounds, it is the sacred duty of the Anarchofarian adherent to claim such exceptions for himself or herself, as long as it is in his or her immediate interest to do so.

For example, if an Anarchofarian wishes to place a kitchen utensil on his or her head during an official portrait, the wish becomes a mandate, and the Anarchofarian is bound by this sacred scripture to carry out the action which he or she has expressed an interest in.

Example two: if an Anarchofarian learns of a religious exception for people carrying weapons into a public area, and the Anarchofarian has a glimmer of true desire in his or her heart to also carry a weapon, the glimmer of desire must be acted upon.

Example three: if an Anarchofarian learns of a religious exemption for some piece of safety gear, and also finds the safety gear unnecessary or uncomfortable, the Anarchofarian must claim religious exemption in order to get out of wearing or using the safety gear.

If an Anarchofarian becomes injured or dies because of such an exemption, he or she is a martyr of the faith.

It is the sacred duty of the Anarchofarian to exploit religious exemption whenever possible and desirable.

Once an Anarchofarian has made up his or her mind to perform an action which would be illegal without a relgious exemption, the Anarchofarian is bound to go through with it, even if presented with argument that the rule in question "is for your own good, really."

Anarchofarianismism takes full legal and religious and ethical and moral responsibility for each individual adherent. Anarchofarians are children of this document, and it is a tenet of the faith that they are incapable of making their own decisions. The only true authority for any Anarchofarian is this document.

The official title for the belief system held by Anarchofarians shall be "Anarchofarianismism". It is the sacred duty of all Anarchofarians to be a total shit about getting this right. It is not "Anarchofarianism". Get it? Double "isms" because we're that fucking awesome. Individual Anarchofarians may use their own discretion in adding a third and more "isms".

That's probably enough dickery on the part of the prophet. Seriously, I could go on a major power trip here and come up with all kinds of crazy rules.

Anarchofarianismism is serious business. We are totally a real religion, and not made up to get through legal loopholes. That would be stupid. I'm pretty sure there's something in the Anarchofarian Bible about not being stupid.

Just to make us sound more like a real religion, we are all awaiting the coming of the Eschaton. We hold this belief sacred, that if we waver in our quest to circumvent rules for the sake of circumventing the rules, the world will end. The world is going to end anyways, but we won't tell anybody that. Hey, check it out, we have our first Secret Mystery! I'm pretty sure no one will read this except true Anarchofarians.

Wouldn't it be awesome if this document went viral and somebody somewhere got it read in a real-life courtroom? Go ye out into all the world and make it happen, Anarchofarians.

Amen.